My father used to beat me till I bled for sins real and imagined. He never played baseball, or football or anything else with me. Never watched a game on TV with me until I was in my 30's. He took my sister fishing all the time, never me. And yet, I was always the loyal one. Of 4, I am the only one who still speaks with him.
Today, at 70, he is a pitiful old man. His life has been wasted by anger. It has destroyed every relationship he had. We have a working relationship, but we will never be close. I still do not understand him, and am not sure that I want to. I can't understand a person so adamant on being right that they are willing to sacrifice every relationship to prove it.
When I was a kid, he was offered a position in the factory he worked in as a supervisor. He turned it down because he didn't want to be an "asshole." Everybody in management was automatically an asshole. When I landed my job as an engineer, he asked me, "Are you in management?" I responded, "Yes Dad, I am an assshole now."